Sometimes, everything goes wrong

I originally wrote a much darker version of this article, but never published it.

Poland feels like a much safer place than France, I feel confident enough to write on my MacBook on a bench in a public park, whereas in France I would get annoyed in less than 5 minutes and probably would end up at the police station.

Today is a one of those warm days of summer, 34 degrees celsius, a light breeze and a perfect blue sky. Maybe it’s already the end of summer in fact, the time where the lucky ones who were on vacations are coming back, full of positive summer vibes, ready to go back to their work, with their daily routines. They are happy to come back, even if they will probably already miss their holidays by the first day of work. They are rested, tanned and their Instagram has been a nightmare to watch for anyone not in vacations.

Despite a few little contracts I did not find the one I was looking for to be my next project. I had a rough few weeks, what hurts the most is the crazy price of transportations during this month of August. While I usually pay my flights around €70, each of my recent trips cost me about 4 times more, over €300…

I had a bunch of different things that I ended up paying for and that were unexpected. It hurts to know that my financial stability I thought I had, can be impacted that much by inflation and a bunch of problems.

Needless to say, my finances are not at their bests, for the first time in a while I even had to borrow money from my mother, it felt like a total disgrace and she basically yelled at me for 30 minutes on the phone. You will think that I am a lucky guy to have parents likes this, it’s probably the case when it comes to finances, but still it’s a loan, will have to give it back asap but without interests.

Unless I find a great mission in the next few weeks, I will probably go back to a stable job for the next few years. I had a bunch of interviews, and one of them is really interesting : their mission is to offer supports to employees’ mental health and I really think there is nothing more beautiful to apply to.

Yes, I am moving to back to Paris for now, and will jump from time to time to Poland. I will likely close my freelance company for now on, and I hope that the day I will come back to it, it will be as a developper or project manager.

I am not sad to leave the freelance community, I have discovered a lot of things in the past year, but this freedom is at the cost of stability. I most probably needs a bit more stability in order to move on to more project, together with my partner.

Illustration picture credits to https://unsplash.com/@hewittlv

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